Ok. This is bad. Very bad.
I am gaining weight by the second, and I just don’t care.
This is bad news on many fronts. Bad for my health, bad for my husband (wink), bad for my kids (out of breath trying to carry them), bad, bad, bad. And I don’t know why I feel this way. In December/January I declared that this was my year to reach my goal weight – and I wasn’t kidding around. I said it with conviction…with faith.
Could it be because I’ve started working full time outside the home? Could it be because my (almost) 6 month old is still not sleeping through the night, and my 2 year old has a lingering cough that turns into hacking fits in the middle of the night? Could it be because my attitude sucks? I don’t know. But I’m a little scared because I’ve really never felt this ambivalent about my weight.
After Sophie was born last October I got down to my lowest weight in 7 years (yay me!). But now it’s creeping back up to the “scary range”. Sigh. I’m not whining, but I don’t know what to do to get motivated. I’ve looked at the health magazines (which usually jazz me up for healthy living), I’ve hung out with my girlfriends who are “success stories”, I’ve pep-talked myself, and made healthy menus. But all to no avail. I’ve also prayed. Nothing.
So here I am, feeling like Jabba the Hut, wondering when the tide will turn and if by that time I will actually resemble Mr. Hut.
Kristen Scogin Said:
on April 5, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Well… Isn’t it interesting how you think that you are the only one going through something and then you read someone’s blog and realize… I’m not the only one. Weight, it such a crappy thing to have to deal with. I’m trying to figure out when I’m going to feel and say “enough is enough”. Who knows… I wish there was a pill (maybe one day, lol). In the mean time, I’ll be praying for you. If you figure something out, let me know
Love you sis!
Dawn Said:
on April 6, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Girl, you have courage to post what I feel as well – I could never do that. You’re brave. I am going to pray about it also – for you and for me. Maybe God has a big answer for us that we haven’t heard yet. Dave and I were praying last night about our life of chaos, realizing that that is not going to change, and to stop saying this phrase:
“As soon as __________ is finished, I will be able to _____________.”
That is the wrong way to think – ’cause God wants us to live lives of abundance and joy in the midst of the chaos that’s not going to leave. We are praying for wisdom to live abundant chaotic lives. Somehow I think Dave’s & my weight gain in the past 6 mos is due to that unhealthy way of thinking, too.
Love you hon.
hayrod Said:
on April 6, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Kristen – well, that’s partly why i posted about this…because I’m trying to talk about it so that 1) maybe I won’t feel totally isolated in this struggle and 2) just saying the words “I don’t care” and putting it out there will sort of eliminate the power it has over me. I’ve been so tempted to try the “pill” thing – as in appetite suppressants – but I’ve promised Abner that I won’t go there…yet. Only as a last resort. I hope my struggle can in some way encourage you in yours. love you!
Dawn – Wow. An abundance in the chaos. Yep. That’s what I need to get a handle on, too. Because I recognize that my children, my husband, my job, my ministry, my friends, my family are not going to go away or all of a sudden become this perfectly ordered system of work and relationships. Life is messy, but God has indeed called us to an abundant life. So I will ponder that and pray that God will help me to absorb it into my spirit. I pray for you and your family. thanks for the encouragement and the truth of His desire for us. love you!
Erica Maier Said:
on April 8, 2009 at 2:38 am
And of course, now you have all the yummy, rich Valley food at your disposal… makes things much more challenging…
Dawn Said:
on April 14, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Kelly,
I just wanted to share with you what Dave & I have been doing about our exercise for the past 10 days: we go on the treadmill for 15 minutes. It’s not much. But that’s the point. I think he & I were at such a point of not caring, that this small commitment is do-able. It’s not intimidating, overwhelming, or annoying, even. It’s just 15 minutes. We call it “my 15″, like, “When do you think I can get in my 15 today?” It’s easy to get in 15 minutes. I vary it a little – sometimes I run, sometimes I walk on an incline, sometimes I walk while focusing on my arms with 3 lb weights. I follow it up with crunches and a few push-ups. It goes by fast. I did it 5 times last week. So it’s not so much a weight loss thing as a consistency thing – and something is better than nothing. It is currently ‘working’ for us. And it ultimately gives my psyche that boost that I need – like, well, I did SOMETHING!
hayrod Said:
on April 16, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Dawn,
I simply do not have “Me” as a priority, and still struggle to know/feel if that’s right or wrong. Keep up with You 15! That treadmill is a b-l-e-s-s-i-n-g. Can’t wait to get one, too.
That’s what it takes for our overly-abundant-chaotic lives, I think…doing little bits that will add up over time. My problem is I must plan in order to be successful. I’m not good at grabbing random moments of opportunity and using them to benefit my health. I usually use them to get some sort of housework done!